Break Ups

Photo By: Andy Vu

Break Ups: They’re really tough man, I’m sorry if you’re going through one right now and I hope I can help. I won’t give you advice for handling your situation but maybe you can learn through mine. Last year, I went through a really tough break up with my first girlfriend of 1 year and 8 months. In all honesty, I haven’t been able to let it go, and I’m hoping this post will allow me to sort through the entire situation. This is raw and uncut so pop some of that corn.

Context: Me and this girl were best friends for a year prior to our relationship. My break up happened before senior year (I’m a freshman in College now) and we had 3 classes together that year including Tennis, Calculus, and Physics. I would like to say our relationship was very very funny? We had fun ok. Her ex was a close friend of mine and my tennis partner prior to our break up. Me and this girl uuhhhhhhh Lucy were going to go on a Bubble run date in October prior to our breakup and he was also invited by her. Mutual Break Up

Post Break Up (1 month – 3 months): After our break up, I was not hurt for the first few weeks but it hit me like a truck afterward. I could not look at her in the eyes. I would not talk to her at all even though I knew she wanted me to, and that is my fault. For a long time, I avoided eye contact with her in the 3 classes we had and that was the toughest thing ever. I didn’t want to hinder her healing so I felt like even though I was avoiding her, I was doing both of us good because that way she could drop me faster and move on. In hindsight, I don’t think this was a good thing for me, but it seems like it was good for her so thats all that matters right.

Post Break Up (3 Months – 1 Year): We decided not to go on the Bubble Run together so she took her ex and I gave my ticket to her best friend for her b-day. Her ex was really friendly with her and after 3 months they started dating. I wanted to fight him so bad because he would not tell me straight when we played tennis that he liked her. He would just slowly cut me off and then go and date her. She even told my guy to tell me that they were dating because he wouldn’t do it himself. At the time me and this guy were close friends, after not being friends for 2-3 years. I didn’t say anything to them though because I didn’t want to start the relationship she wanted on a bad foot (shouldn’t have done that). I thought it was too soon to be seeing someone new but who am I to hinder what she wanted to do with her life. Everyday I would go to class, many times I would see them doing things like hugging up on each other or sitting on each others lap in front of my face in the same class (literally one seat in front of me). Shit made me so mad because I thought after all that time she would think to not do it with me there. They dated my entire senior year so I saw this on field trips, tennis, physics, and leaving tennis to go get Sonic. It especially hurts whenever I see her doing things we used to do together with him. I would vent to my friends talking mess about both of them, saying how the dude was a pussy, and Lucy was inconsiderate and all that. Many of my friends heard the story at least 5,000,000 times. I was super mad. Fast forward to a little bit after graduation, I finally confronted her about the whole situation. I blew up on her telling her I cared about how she felt the entire time and how she couldn’t refrain from doing all those things in front of my face. I talked about how her boyfriend was a bitch for cutting me off to go after her.

Post Break Up: (1 year 3 months): I just talked to Lucy again. I dropped the grudge I held on for so long and told her if she needed anything ever she could hit me up.

If I could go back and tell myself something it would be:
“You never realize the good someone does for you after things end, you only realize the bad” In hindsight, I shouldn’t have said anything to my friends about her, spreading an image of a bad character to everyone. That’s farthest from the truth

YES the dude did hoe you, what can you do about it now? Fight? For what

Feeling of loneliness after a break up sucks I know, her friends cut you off and those who you thought were your friends not really speak to you like that. Being by yourself is not all that bad. If you can be content with yourself then that is the ultimate goal.

You should’ve spoken up about what you felt uncomfortable with, don’t have this idea that the other person would care, prioritize your feelings first because they will prioritize theirs over yours regardless if you do or not.
Don’t expect anything back, you shouldn’t expect someone to treat you a certain way just because you treat them that way. It will only set you up for failure or disappointment. Do nice things to do nice things.

Talk to me in the replies homies, give me some advice or ask for some I gotchu, we cool.